Quite A Bit Later

I’ve moved to the west coast which is a three hour time difference from where I used to be.

Perfect.

I can now stay up 3 hours later and sleep in 3 hours later.

In the time between the move and August of 2017 I have put on a few pounds.

I have now cut out the coconut oil which has a bunch of extra calories I don’t need and frankly made everything taste like coconut.

I started the South Beach Diet and have lost a disappointing 5 pounds despite sticking with Stage 1 of the diet for over a month. Give or take a few Purdy’s Chocolate Hedgehogs. Disappointing because all the testimonials said dieters usually experienced greater weight loss.

I guess mileage may vary.

I haven’t been exercising as much as usual but I don't think that is it.

I have found the problem.

My sister came here to visit and made me eat in restaurants. That’s the problem because you have to eat more in a restaurant when company is visiting.

It is my sister’s fault.

My doctor also suggested I add more green to my diet.

I’m thinking lime jello.

And now a black T-Shirt on procrastinating...

Procrastinate T-Shirt
by damccaskill

The Crowd

I read an article about the City and some organisations looking at ways to make the city more “age friendly” and easier for people with disabilities to get around downtown. Yay!

(Personally, I shop at the mall when I am forced to shop. And the City should provide more and free buses there for the disabled and aged. There is very little snow in the mall).

The article pointed out that it was hard to get around if someone was in a wheelchair.
Not really news, more an announcement of a new project.

Then I read the comments on the article. They were all negative.
A lot of them stated that no disabled people were consulted.

I thought, “really people”?
It was an announcement.

I also thought, “at least you could wait until it fails, or succeeds, before bashing the initiative”.

The next day I read about the City approving an amendment to the on-street parking bylaw to allow people to pay for parking with their cell phone.

My first thought was, “I guess that will be cheaper than clearing snow from the sidewalks so you could get to the parking meters, and so you could get a wheelchair from here to there”.

Crap. Welcome to the crowd.

Stay healthy. You will be needed...

 

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Trying

A Healthier Lifestyle

I am trying to lead a healthier lifestyle.

I started riding 14 miles a day.
I replaced butter with coconut oil, added more dairy (in the form of ice cream) and started to drink more water.

Therein lays the problem

My weight had dropped by 5 pounds after months of eating the coconut oil.
I was a svelte 195.

I added the punishing 14 mile ride (OK, it only takes an hour) thinking it would burn off more calories and I’ve heard cardio wasn’t that bad for your health.

Recently, I stepped on my scale and was not best pleased to find it suggesting that I am now 200 pounds.

I’m sure you’ve figured out the culprit.

Water

Water weighs 10 pounds per gallon (Imperial not U.S.).

I drink 2 or 3 glasses of water while riding so I figure that I must be retaining at least half a gallon.

The Solution

I did eat a liter (about a quart) of ice cream over three days and I noticed that ice cream weighs a lot less than water.

From now on I will be having 2 or 3 glasses of ice cream instead of water when I ride.

It's a cat card...

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Commercial TV

Who knew Commercial TV was good for your health?

I now regret all those years cursing the incessant interruption of our spellbinding programs by stupid commercials when in fact those same interruptions may have been more beneficial to our health than all the medical remedies and exercise devices they may have advertised.

Research has shown that you should not sit for a prolonged period of time. The researchers suggest that even if you stand for two minutes out of every 40 or 50 minutes, good stuff will happen to your body as opposed to the bad stuff (I would link to the story about the study but forget where it is so I substituted my own medical jargon) that happens when you don’t avail yourself of the commercial break to go for a pee which is the result of the last commercial break when you got a drink.

Little did we know commercials were actually improving the quality of our lives

It didn’t even matter which commercial was on. Watch them once and the next 10 times they played during Hockey Night in Canada, don’t watch them. Or, miss them the first time but don’t worry, they will play again. And again and again.

Even the incredible volume accompanying commercials, was beneficial. Sure, if you actually sat through an ad, the abrasive sound you didn’t think your TV capable of, would assault your ears like salt in a paper cut, making you vow to never purchase from that advertiser again.

That sound was of value

As long as it blared, you could be in the bathroom. 

You could make drinks in the kitchen. 

Open a bag of chips and pour out bowls for yourself and your guests. No hurry. You weren’t missing a thing.
And it was healthy, except for the chips part. Chips make you fat und pimply.

And you had until the ominous cessation of commercial cacophony to get back to broadcast bliss.

Streaming services

You may be tempted to “cut the cord”. Loose yourself, or at least your wallet, from the thrall of your cable or satellite provider. 

Streaming services such as Netflix, Crave and Shomi, promise hours of commercial free programming for a reasonable price. Per month. Forever.

But who doesn’t remember sitting through a movie on their VCR, ready to burst, not hitting pause because they didn’t want to interrupt the flow of the program and not wanting to bother the others viewing the show. 

Imagine hours on end of streaming TV where the only break is when Netflix says “The next episode starts in 14 seconds”. Or when the season ends.
It takes more than 14 seconds to choose the flavour of chips you want.

Don’t cut the cord

Yes it is expensive, and yes a more advanced civilization would probably use much of our television content to punish those who commit crimes, but, for the good of your health, keep the commercial in commercial TV.

and now for a word from our sponsor...

 

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Retailing Marijuana

With the recent change in our federal government, it seems as though we are moving closer to legal retail marijuana.

No longer will you have to know a guy who knows a guy. 

No more hanging around a disreputable pool hall. 

You won’t have to go to that seedy bar, but you will ‘cause who doesn’t like a seedy bar.

Soon may come a day when you can get your weed from a government regulated outlet.

I originally thought this to be a positive move, you know, give the people what they want and instead of arresting them, which costs we tax payers a poop load of money, tax them. 

Make money for the government. Stop wasting police and court resources. This whole thing could be worth millions or even billions in revenue and savings.

Would it Benefit the Consumer

Right here in Canada there is a company that is growing 50 or more strains of marijuana for medical use.
It is legal and there is no reason that their knowledge and technology could not be applied to the recreational market.
Just as with alcohol, the strains have different tastes and feels, and different strengths.
There are oils and pills and maybe even tea for those who really don’t want to or can’t smoke anything.
(Should I have a cup of Monday Morning Calm or a mug of I Can’t Believe It’s Another 2 Hour PowerPoint Presentation)

The Liquor Control Board of Ontario has put forth the view that grass be sold in their outlets as they have the infrastructure and experience.
In retailing recreational substances, I guess.

I do see some potential for strife between the traditional LCBO customer and the new clientele. Especially before a long weekend.

I wonder if they would have displays of the product and a representative asking if you would like to try today's featured brand. You would have to take a taxi home after stopping by the no name whiskey* table for a taste and maybe stop for a toke of Pineapple Express.
*I was going to link to a Canadian whiskey that just won some world whiskey contest but it seems that you have to enter your age and country probably due to governments regulations so here is a link to a story about it.

Others I have spoken to suggest that the government and their agencies are not fit to regulate. Anything.

Tobacco started out as a leaf. A natural product that ended up as a chemical plague the government was unable or unwilling to protect its people from.

The government would just tax grass beyond reason anyway.
Marijuana can be turned into a fuel so there would be a fuel tax.
It burns so there would be a carbon tax.
It can be made into paper, clothing, plastics and building material. Tax.
It is great for the environment and is nutritious. Has to be a tax in there somewhere.

Maybe the government should leave the distribution to entrepreneur run boutiques which probably wouldn’t be closed by strikes or even holidays. 

They could have sommeliers to help you choose something that pairs with half pepperoni / half Hawaiian.

Maybe, just maybe we should take a page from an earlier day when the sound of hooves and clinking of bottles signaled the early morning arrival of the milk man bringing fresh dairy products.
And if you are not an early riser, just leave a sign in the window.
Weed Today Please.

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Wine and Kale

I told my sister that I was on a health kick and that I had been checking out the Internet for health related ideas. (see my Coconut Oil Experiment)
She told me she had also been surfing the net and had an idea for a smoothie that contained kale, blueberries and acai berries. 

I was surprised as she has traditionally been a potato chip and chocolate aficionado.

I said it sounded horrible but she proceeded to throw the ingredients into a blender. She blended it for about one minute and I said, “that looks like a hideous heterogeneous sludge of green and blue crap”. 

She said I should try it.
So I did.
She said, “What do you think”?
I said, “I think it tastes like it looks”.
I asked if she was sure it's all kale, blueberry and acai and she said, "No, the secret ingredient is red wine for the reversitol",  "it's good for your heart".
I said "what's kale good for". 
She said, “I don't know, I just read it on the internet”.

I said OK, what are the blueberries good for? She said they have antioxidants.

I said, “I have tried antipasto and it was OK, so what's wrong with this stuff”? 

She seemed to think that it was doing me some good.
It was doing something.

Unbeknownst to her I'd already started on a regime based on three glasses of champagne per day to ward off dementia, and being as how I am I'm a real go-getter, I had started my morning with the three glasses.
Not being much of a drinker, my bar accouterments ran to a shot glass and a number of beer mugs.

Three mugs of champagne added to the copious amount of red wine she put into this hideous tasting smoothie and I was starting to feel a bit woozy. 

My stomach was feeling even woozier than my head.

Taking the Internet's advice to never leave a drink unfinished (kind of like Mom saying, "Eat every carrot and pea on your plate" (this oft misunderstood admonition made for some awkward dinners with guests)), I downed the last of the blender’s contents and decided then and there that despite all the health advice you can get from the Internet, sisters can't be trusted.

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Coconut Oil - The Experiment

Disclaimer - I am not a medical person, botanist or marine biologist.

I am usually skeptical about product health claims whether they be from family, friends, doctors or nurses, so I did what any right thinking person would do... check the Internet.
That was a mistake.

Coconuts kill people

Many links on Google lead to pages suggesting that "Coconuts kill more people than sharks" or the ominous "You are 10 times more likely to be killed by a falling coconut than a shark".
You may think that sharks don't fall but you are wrong as proved in Sharknado 1 through 3 and possibly 4.
Now, not only am I afraid to go back in the water, the beach doesn't hold much allure for me either.
I don't think I will pursue this line of inquiry right now.
Sharks v.s. Coconuts. Cold-blooded eating machine thinking where it's next meal is coming from v.s. warm-milked coconut hanging out in a tree thinking, well whatever coconuts think about. (tried to find a picture of the illusive coconut shark but it is illusive so no picture...sorry)

On to the supposed health benefits. 

Weight loss... Whoa! I didn't see that coming. 
Actually I would be surprised if there weren't claims of weight loss. Despite having more calories than butter, coconut oil contains Medium Chain Triglycerides (MCTs) that can support up to a 5% greater expenditure in energy and can suppress your appetite. Bonus.

Beneficial to blood cholesterol levels. Contains Lauric Acid which may increase your HDL (good cholesterol).

Fights bacteria, viruses and fungi. Is used in cosmetics and soap but that just makes it taste funny. The one downside of this is that the human body is comprised of a lot of viruses and bacteria with a little DNA thrown in.

This stuff is supposed to ameliorate or even cure, it is hinted, the effects of Alzheimer's or dementia, prevent seizures, heals psoriasis and eczema while softening your skin and can be beneficial as a hair conditioner.
I just can't imagine putting a chunk of the stuff on my remaining follicles. Below 24 degrees Celsius coconut oil has the consistency of the old-time paste wax I used to put on my car. As I turn the heat down at night to a coolish 18 degrees it could make for a rough start to the day.
Anyway I do not need a smoother shinier head.

Does it work?

It has improved my memory.
The very first time I replaced the butter on my toast with coconut oil I remembered how much I really like butter on my toast.
It made me remember that every time I picked a coconut chocolate out of a box of assorted chocolates, it felt like a punishment.
It brought to mind the time my Mom returned from Curacao with a bottle of Coconut Rum and I thought "What a horrible thing to do to a perfectly good bottle of rum". Almost couldn't finish it.

Since I don't have psoriasis or eczema and my skin is already soft, the experiment will be to determine if coconut oil does assist with weight loss or memory.
If I do lose any significant amount of weight by consuming extra calories in the form of coconut oil, I will create a new post and link back to this post.
In the absence of any alarming news from my doctor that relates to the increase in intake of coconut fat I will also create a new post.
If I do not post any positive results regarding improved memory or I forget to ever post again, I guess that puts paid to that.

Expected duration of experiment 

I still have half a jar of the stuff.

 

coffee, Z, Z, Z Two-Tone Coffee Mug by shiomi
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