The Crowd

I read an article about the City and some organisations looking at ways to make the city more “age friendly” and easier for people with disabilities to get around downtown. Yay!

(Personally, I shop at the mall when I am forced to shop. And the City should provide more and free buses there for the disabled and aged. There is very little snow in the mall).

The article pointed out that it was hard to get around if someone was in a wheelchair.
Not really news, more an announcement of a new project.

Then I read the comments on the article. They were all negative.
A lot of them stated that no disabled people were consulted.

I thought, “really people”?
It was an announcement.

I also thought, “at least you could wait until it fails, or succeeds, before bashing the initiative”.

The next day I read about the City approving an amendment to the on-street parking bylaw to allow people to pay for parking with their cell phone.

My first thought was, “I guess that will be cheaper than clearing snow from the sidewalks so you could get to the parking meters, and so you could get a wheelchair from here to there”.

Crap. Welcome to the crowd.

Stay healthy. You will be needed...

 

Apocalypse Livestock T-shirt by damccaskill
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Trying

A Healthier Lifestyle

I am trying to lead a healthier lifestyle.

I started riding 14 miles a day.
I replaced butter with coconut oil, added more dairy (in the form of ice cream) and started to drink more water.

Therein lays the problem

My weight had dropped by 5 pounds after months of eating the coconut oil.
I was a svelte 195.

I added the punishing 14 mile ride (OK, it only takes an hour) thinking it would burn off more calories and I’ve heard cardio wasn’t that bad for your health.

Recently, I stepped on my scale and was not best pleased to find it suggesting that I am now 200 pounds.

I’m sure you’ve figured out the culprit.

Water

Water weighs 10 pounds per gallon (Imperial not U.S.).

I drink 2 or 3 glasses of water while riding so I figure that I must be retaining at least half a gallon.

The Solution

I did eat a liter (about a quart) of ice cream over three days and I noticed that ice cream weighs a lot less than water.

From now on I will be having 2 or 3 glasses of ice cream instead of water when I ride.

It's a cat card...

Look into my eyes and repeat after m... greeting card by ladybuglane
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Mixed Vegetables

No glasses tonight. They are getting new lenses. I only need them to read but things that are close to me look blurry. As I eat my mixed vegetables I recall a recent story where a woman found a snake’s head in her canned green beans. 

With every forkful I think, “Hope this bite doesn’t taste like snake”.

Not a snake card...

 

Mermaid Day Dream Greeting Card by shiomi
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Worried

I was worried about posting these brief humor labeled thoughts for fear people would start thinking I was being foolish.
The consensus is that I needn't worry.

For the entomologists in the crowd...

 

Honeybee Classic White Coffee Mug by ladybuglane
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Another Thing

Judas Priest sang "You've got another thing coming".
I guess that would be Thing 2.

I thing we took a wrong turn...

 

ducks.pgn mouse pad by ladybuglane
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You've got another think coming

The problem with posting "Whats on your mind" is that people expect you to follow up with another thought.
My Dad used to tell me "You've got another think coming".
Bet he didn't think that I'd take so long between thoughts :)

Gratuitous product advertising, but you needed a mushroom T shirt anyway...

 

Shroom Shirt by shiomi
Browse Shroom T-Shirts

Keeping Time

Rebooted my phone. It said ''Auto update of time and date''. 
I like to do my bit for the world. You're welcome.

Gratuitous product advertising. Be hot with a rad T shirt...

 

I'm so RAD! Tees by shiomi
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Paparazzi

I never thought I would have to worry about paparazzi. I'm not famous or rich so the idea of my photograph in front of an untold number of people never crossed my mind.

When I was growing up a friend used to bring over copies of the type of magazine you see at the grocery store check out.

I never thought to ask her if she bought them or how they came into her possession.

 

I remember thinking three things about those magazines. ''Who the heck makes up this stuff'', and ''These pictures can't be real'' and "Who would pay money for this"?

Time and technology marches on

The publications are still in the grocery stores and provide moments of mirth as I peruse the covers. Still more when I see someone purchase one.

Paparazzi seem to have adapted and added skills like posting to content mills (I was going to say News but I couldn't do it), blogging, tweeting as well as photo-shopping. Still, these paparazzi have been replaced by a group they never would have expected. Us.

We are the New Paparazzi

Our preoccupation with taking and posting selfies may well be doing the paparazzi out of, well, an occupation.

Even celebrities post their own pictures. Some are celebrities because they post their own pictures.

I recently saw a post from Neil Gaiman about a "Take an author to lunch day". And it got me thinking that if we obviate the need for paparazzi, maybe we should have a "Take a paparazzi to lunch day". Show them they are still appreciated.

If we aren't careful we could be standing in line at the checkout with nothing to look at.

You can look at this. You can even buy it...

 

Delivered from Temptation Tee Shirts by damccaskill
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I Don’t Like Sports

I Don’t Dislike Them

When I was younger and the NHL had fewer teams than a carton had eggs, we would gather with friends from down the lane and watch Hockey Night In Canada. I even played some sports.

It was fun.

Years on, when people gather for the Big Game, I don’t.

Whether it is the Grey Cup, the Super Bowl, the Gravy Boat or any other serving piece, I am not watching.

Sure I’ll gaze at the screens in Burger World as I anticipate my food. Usually sports is playing, but I watch the commercials with the same level of interest.

Here is Where I Make the Leap

I don’t want to make you any more paranoid than you already are but you are being watched.

Every time you buy something with a retailer’s “Loyalty” card, that information is recorded.

Sometimes this is good. The retailers know what to stock and when to stock it.

Sometimes it is just weird.

You start noticing that ads for (insert product here) that you bought in a real store start showing up on your Facebook feed and your Google-ing.

Seems a little creepy

I am not upset that “They” have the ability to connect the purchases I make in a bricks and mortar store to my online presence.

What bothers me is...

They Don’t Use the Info

My cable provider lists around 500 channels and tells me that I am getting a deal by them bundling a bunch of stuff I never watch.

I watch 13 channels and some of those rarely.
So their offering does not reflect my wants as a consumer. 

You know, one of the people who keep them in business. 

They even had a robo-telemarketer call me and it spoke French. I didn’t mind the language but as they had asked me to choose my preferred language in the profile they keep on customers, you’d think they’d use the information.
(Now I am paranoid. Yesterday I emailed the cable company about the mandatory March 1^st 2016 (tomorrow) basic cable offering, and now none of my channels are working, just a “ONE MOMENT PLEASE This channel should be available shortly”. Still no reply to the email).

The other place the data is not being used is on my news feed in Facebook. It is not Facebook’s fault that Yahoo fills my page with sports stories but Yahoo should certainly take an interest in what their viewers want although the way Yahoo is going, it may not matter.

In Closing:

If you collect the data, use it. 

If you want to remain relevant, collect the data.

Amazon – I am no longer looking for that laptop battery.

Cable company – I do not watch sports, 99% of reality TV, any programming that is not English (except some Kung Fu movies) nor do I care about HD or 4K or 3D TV.

Yahoo – No sports please and good luck.

You can buy a sun flowery mug for your Maxwell House or Tetley tea here...

Sunflowers Two-Tone Coffee Mug by ladybuglane
Browse Sunflower Mugs

Haunted

I like quiet.

You might not think so because I usually have the TV on as background sound. 

Mostly the Weather Network playing quietly.

I do like loud music. Any kind of music as long as it is Rock. 

To quote someone’s photoshopped poster of the Dos Equis guy,

“I don’t always listen to Lynyard Skynyard, but when I do, so do my neighbors”.

But I do really like quiet.

Recently I was sitting listening to the wood crackling in the wood stove, the cat snoring, the wind blowing in off the frozen lake.
It was -41C or -41.8F with a wind chill of -51C  or -59.8F.

The sun was streaming in through the windows.
Unlike Edgar Allan Poe's "The Raven", it was not a midnight dreary, so I was surprised that the haunting started.

Dong dong dong dong.

It was like an old time sailing ship’s bell sounding out on the water.

It stopped.

It started again a few minutes later, and stopped.

This happened on and off for a while and I started to wonder if it was some emergency warning system on the TV.

I turned off the TV. *

Dong dong dong dong.

My cell phone beeps and bops at me regularly so I turned it off.

Dong dong dong dong.

I unplugged the DVD, cable box and microwave oven.

Dong dong dong dong.

I started for the router and modem when it happened again.

Dong dong dong dong.

The ghostly bell was tolling behind me. In my bedroom!

My mind felt some measure of relief as I remembered that I kept old cell phones in a drawer, as you do. It was probably an old reminder chiming on one of them.

I looked. All of them had absolutely no battery life.

Dread crept back into my mind as I imagined unnamed spirits returning to this plane. What could they want with me?

Dong dong dong dong.

I jumped and turned all in one motion ready to vamoose.

Then I saw it.

My old Blackberry tablet that I use as an MP3 player.
Apparently it has a low battery alarm. Dong dong dong dong.

Your old technology will return to haunt you when you least expect it.**

At least it won't molt.

*   my wife once turned off our old TV. It never turned on again. I don’t like to take the chance.

** not that you would expect to be haunted, would you?

You might want to buy US postage so in keeping with the bird theme...

 

Moderation Postage by damccaskill
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